Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
