Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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