There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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