Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
