Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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