I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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