Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
