Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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