I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
