i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
