She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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