Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
