recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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