Will you blow on my dice?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
