how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
