i would punch a child for taco bell
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
