You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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