omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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