I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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