Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
