Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
