I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
