So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize