Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize