I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
