Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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