just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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