Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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