i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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