i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
