So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
