saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sober January is a disaster.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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