Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
