His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
