yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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