Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my phone needs a breathalizer
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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