24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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