Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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