it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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