I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
