i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
