I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
