I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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