You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
