dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But we have bathrooms and they dont
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
