Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize