she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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