This is not my ceiling
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
