What a fucking waste of an outfit
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
