the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
