I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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