i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
