Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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