dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
