I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
