All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
