The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just high enough for therapy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Gay?
German.
Pity.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
