addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
