I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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