Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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