I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
