someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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