Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
